I know this may shock some of you, especially newer readers who aren't yet fully aware that I have a highly addictive personality and tend to pick up, run with full force, and then totally drop hobbies on a monthly basis...but here goes:

I've become a bit of a gym rat lately.

Why? Other than aforementioned addictive personality? Maybe I'm training for a marathon. Or to get into ninja school. Not at all because it's probably a good idea to direct my general rage in a direction that doesn't involve punching people. Or because it might be a nice change of pace to spend less going out in a month than I do on rent. Or because maybe I'm just a tad sick of sycophantic assholes who make up the (I shudder at this term) bar scene. Nope. Certainly not any of those last few reasons.

Must be ninja school.

Exercise idiot that I am, even I knew that when you don't work out much (other than the occasional 'hopping fences and running away from the scene' thing I'm so fond of) and then you REALLY, REALLY DO, you're kind of prone to injury.

But people? I did not see this one coming. At all. At this point I've been working out regularly for over a month, and while I expected some pain in the beginning, I thought I was safely past that point of embarrassing lazy-ass-hits-the-gym injuries. But, oh, haha, body, you so sneaky! Way to get me drop my guard, and then fuck me up right good!

I won't get into how my almost totally or ok maybe not quite life-threatening injury happened (mostly because I don't know!) but after a major workout (I recommend listening to hardcore at the gym and proceeding to kill machines) I went home, slept like a baby, and woke up an elderly cripple. My neck refused to turn more than a few degrees in either direction, which necessitated me turning my entire torso everytime I had to look any direction other than straight ahead. Dudes, even walking hurt.

To help make work bearable today, I stocked up on Ibuprofen, maybe something a bit stronger, annnnnnnnnd brought my microwaveable neck cozy to work. I'm just gonna keep typing like that's not a really embarrassing admission. (It gets worse: it's scented. With potpourri.) I only wore the cozy in the back, at my desk, not where the general public could see it and laugh and point. Only where coworkers could. And myself, cause, let's be honest, I look really fucking stupid:

And after working really super hard for a bit I took the neck cozy off to head out front for my turn at the reference desk. Only, ha, once again, foiled by my body! Thanks, super-pale, sensitive skin! It's not enough that my neck is shooting sharp pains from shoulder blade to skull, how about we make it look like I have some sort of deadly rash, too? Awesome!

So my body has turned against me, and I'm in pain. Funny that this time it's from working out, and not my other cough cough usual activities. WHICH WERE MUCH MORE FUN. I'm just sayin.

Only a (small) matter of time until this addiction is ditched in favor of competitive television-watching with roomie? Pretty much!