Since things have slowed down over here, I thought I should share that I’m also posting over here now.

Well, not so much ‘posting’ as ‘attempting to compose a coherent sentence or two regarding my current state of being, which I predict will generally not make any sense at all when removed from the larger context of just what the fuck is going on’.

So why bother? Dudes, I honestly have no clue. But since when do I need something like a ‘good reason’ or an ‘anticipated outcome’ to do something?

Yeah, that’s right: NEVER.

The birthday celebrations were amazing, and amazingly insane. I can only say that a group of friends stepped up to the plate and knocked that shit outta the park. I barely made it out alive. Which is why I will not be going into too much (or hey, any!) detail about what went down. You understand, right? I do love striped outfits, but orange? Not so much.

Thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes, cards, and presents. I didn’t get a unicorn (snubbed again! Shit, do I have to turn 100 or something, people?!), but still, I love you all.

Cheers!

I don't know what has come over me but lately even the mere thought of posting is enough to make me think "You know what sounds like an even better idea? Solitaire!". Sad? I KNOW. Rather than ponder why my brain and/or creativity have been reduced to smithereens, however, I'm just going to roll with it. I'll snap out of. Maybe. And if I don't? Well, you'll just have to roll over and DIE.

Anyways, since I don't have the mental stamina to 'make sense' or 'be entertaining' (or sit still for more than 3 minutes at a time), here's a quick update on just what the fuck has been going on around here:

• My birthday is Saturday. I will be turning OLD. Unless you ask me, and then why yes, I am still the same age! How, you ask? Magic.
• I was at the emergency vet last night with my dog until 1am. I was able to bring her home, but by this afternoon it was clear that things were getting worse, not better. She's back there now, hopped up on morphine, getting ready for surgery. Much of this weekend will be spent building tents out of sheets and pillows and snuggling up next to her for wine & video game marathons.
• This Friday I'm going to the OC Fair with a bunch of friends, but only on the conditions that we go after sunset, that I get to try one of everything fried, and that someone must accompany me on any/all rides which feature something popping out from behind something else. (I still can't open my eyes on part of the doom buggy ride on The Haunted Mansion. For reals.)
• I'm single. Not much to say here, other than it was my decision and I stand by it. Doesn't mean I'm jumping for joy, but I'm not rolling over and playing dead, either. (Well, I did that one night. But that was thanks to tequila, not the breakup. Get it straight, people.)
• I don't recall how it happened (eh, there was beer involved) but somehow I scored a ticket (without even batting my eyelashes! Or taking off any clothes! I think!) to see Sharon Jones and the Dap-Kings and Feist play at the Hollywood Bowl this Sunday. I'm going to wear a pretty dress, and you'd better believe I will be SHAKING MY ASS OFF to Miss Jones. (Feist, I'll probably just be getting drunk to...but I'm ok with that.)
• I'm sorry for the all caps, but this deserves it, so look away if you must: BATMAN, people. BATMAN!!! BATMAN BATMAN BATMAN BATMAN!!! I'm just a tad bit excited to see it.
• I have a shitload of time off of work, starting, like, NOW. Two words, people: gold bikini.

Cheers!

P.S. - I don't have a wishlist, a donation box, or any such nonsense on this site, so for anyone who would like to do something nice for me for my birthday? Think nice thoughts for my doggy, please. Say a prayer, light a candle, slaughter a virgin, whatever. It would be much appreciated.

An email from my mother:

From: Susan
To: Joey

Hi, I haven't seen you so I wanted to fill you in on what's been going on:

While I was at the gym reading a magazine I found a recipe for blackberry sangria (yum) so I am going to make it for tomorrow. BTW, we are going to Grandma's for dinner at the annual block party. It would be nice to have you put in an appearance???? Besides, my blackberry sangria will be making it's debut.

She knows me well enough to know that the 4th of July will likely find me clutching a beer can and floating around in a pool raft, and that going over to my grandmother's may not be among the top things on my to-do list. She also knows that throwing in homemade blackberry sangria will bump it up to the top of my to-do list.

(It was fabulous, by the way. So much so that I even stayed for dinner. Mostly because I couldn't drive away quite yet.)

Back to the email:

Yesterday Carol (from next door) gave me 2 tickets to the Hollywood Bowl this Saturday night at 8:00 for Bugs Bunny on Broadway. They are good seats but your Dad doesn't want to go. Do you want them?

Um, what the fuck?! She knows I enjoy the drink, but really? Even drunk, there is no way in hell I would possibly entertain the idea of going to this. Hell, not even high.

Judging from this email, it's safe to assume that my mother thinks of me as a lush, with the maturity level of a 9-year-old.

Hm.

Looks like she knows me quite well, after all.

And yes, this is the kind of shit posting (no drunkenness, nudity, or fist fights) that you get when you message me to tell me that I don't update enough (coughTODDcough). You know what would help to inspire long, rambling reminiscences of action-packed nights? How about overnighting a couple of these babies to my doorstep? Because that would so, so do the trick.

For my part, I promise to go out tonight and attempt to do something other than sit in my usual corner spot at the bar and play bar games all night long. But it's hard. I'm just so, so good at it:

(Babe? I was lying about attempting to do anything other than exactly that tonight. Unless it's getting drunk at your apartment, and playing video games there. Or going to Fern's, and playing table hockey. Take this to mean: you're going DOWN. Kisses!)

Cheers!