Today my diet has consisted of Mountain Dew, coffee, and (I'm actually a bit embarrassed to admit this) a caramel Frappucino. I feel a bit like this:

It would be safe to assume that the nights of wonderful, restful, blissful sleep are few and far between for me, particularly as the school semester is beginning to wrap up.

Last night I went to bed shortly after 6am. For the second time this week. (And it's only Wednesday. Who wants to bet I'll make it three by the end of the week?)

While the first time this happened, Sunday night, was because I was out, having fun, and lost track of/didn't bother to notice the time, last night was because, hi, I don't know if we've met, but I'm kind of a bit of procrastinator.

That's putting it mildly. It's more like I am the BEST PROCRASTINATOR EVER.

You have doubts? I had to turn in a paper today at 5pm. A big, important paper that has to do with a little thing called my graduate thesis, or as I like to call it, MONTHS AND MONTHS OF MY LIFE THAT I WILL NEVER GET BACK.

So when did I start this paper?

Well.

I stayed home last night (after a quick stop at the bar on the way home from work. What? I only had one beer! Don't look at me like that, people!) so I could begin work on this paper. I know what you're thinking. Writing a paper the night before, we've all done that. But remember: it involved a proposal for my graduate thesis. Supposedly this shit is a big deal.

I stayed up until after 6am working on it. Or rather, trying to work on it. But see, I'm reading this really good book right now. And Conan, even rebroadcast, was real funny last night! And there was all that spider solitaire that needed playing. And I think this goes without saying, but did you know that there's wine in that cupboard up there? Because there is!

By 6:15am I had managed to print out a description of the assignment, type my name and the course number on a Word document, and set up the correct margins.

And THAT WAS IT.

I ended up starting, and finishing, the paper at work this afternoon, and turning it in about an hour before the deadline.

Certainly this isn't an ideal way to go about getting things done. It doesn't leave much time for dealing with the unexpected, which has bit me in the ass on occasion. (Uh, like that time I threw the phone.)

But on the whole, it works for me. Working this way I graduated with honors in undergrad, and I currently have a 4.0 in grad school.

Of course, I also have the heartbeat of a hummingbird from all of the caffeine and sugar in my system right now, but I'd say it's worth it, no?

(Oh, and if you feel the need to email me studies showing that this unhealthy behavior will lead to my untimely death? Don't. There are any number of things that I do that are way worse than this [binge drinking! driving on the 405! things I can't mention because my mother reads this site!] and are much more likely to kill me first. So there.)