Happy holidays, lovelies! Hope you all made out like bandits. I sure did! What did I get this year for being such a good girl?

I got dumped!

And got a boyfriend!

And an iPod!

(Loving the new iPod, by the way.)

It all started Christmas Eve, when I arrived at the bar at 9:30.

9:30. As in 4 HOURS away from last call. Do you have any idea how much damage I can do in 4 hours?

Turns out, A LOT.

I met up with a guy I was dating, who decided to get his period and freak the fuck out when I told him that the only commitment he can expect out of me is a fierce commitment to being awesome. (Funny how he didn't care to hear that one.) He then proceeded to LEAVE ME.

In A BAR.

On CHRISTMAS EVE.

(But not before trying to kiss me goodbye.)

Who the fuck does shit like that? I couldn't even get upset, I was too busy trying to pick my jaw up off the ground.

Fast forward to an hour later: two (or three?) glasses of whiskey, a beer or two, and FIVE shots; down the hatch. What can I say? My friends, they know how to take care of me.

One such friend saw fit to take me home and give me more whiskey (good call!) and in turn I thanked him by MAKING HIM MY BOYFRIEND.

Oops.

I don't recall how the conversation came up (though I'm sure it was along the lines of "I'm drunk. I like you. Be mine." or something equally as eloquent) but it did, and holy hell can you just take a second and imagine how fucking awkward the next morning was?

(Actually it wasn't TOO bad. I have come to embrace my insanity, and run with it. Sometimes there is collateral damage. Shit happens. Deal. But still, it was kind of bad. Bad enough that I'd like to not repeat this mistake anytime soon. Or like, EVER, would be good, too.)

And I'm using the term "morning" loosely, by the way. I think I woke up shortly after 11am, a solid 2 hours after I was supposed to be home for breakfast and presents with the family.

I slept through Christmas. What a fucking jerk.

After a night/morning like that I really, really should have stayed in Christmas night. But some old college friends were in town, and I had to take care of that pesky little "boyfriend" thing, too. (Don't get me wrong, I like this guy fine. Which is why I don't want to be with him simply because I do funny, reckless shit when I'm drunk. Oh, and I'm just a tiny bit terrified of relationships, too.)

Somehow, like magic, all of the ladies made it out in force, along with the college friends, and it was one of those great nights that just comes together by accident. Finally, in the wee hours I was able to break it off with the boyfriend, after which he and I both heaved a huge sigh of relief.

And then we made out.

Looking back over the week so far, I'm thinking that perhaps I should take a break from guys for awhile.

So I'm staying in tonight. (Bold move, I know.)

But Thursday night? It's on.