I am a little bit sick right now.

I know this surprises all of you, given how health conscious I am. For example, at our work holiday party yesterday I managed to consume pizza, cake, soda, coffee, and candy. After work, I celebrated in my own way with beer, wine, and whiskey. I passed out around 5am, though I awoke an hour later when my body decided to catch fire from the inside out. (Hello, fever! Thanks for stopping by! And for leaving me with this lovely red flush!)

Though I didn't have to get up for work until 11, I only managed about another hour of sleep. Add to the sleep deprivation what I've had so far today: 5 cups of coffee, a diet Coke, DayQuil, and Excedrin. I attempted a handful of M&Ms, too, but the thought of food (even candy) is making me turn green. (Combine this with the occasional flush from the fever and I'm a regular fucking holiday decoration.)

While such a diet is never ideal, today is REALLY not the best day for me to be substituting massive amounts of caffeine for sleep, skipping meals, and loading up on medicine that has already made me lose my balance once today. Because tonight?

DRINKING CONTEST.

I am so, so fucked.

The contest was actually up in the air for a bit because the only other competitor is someone whom I haven't yet thrown up in front of, or tried to hit (with a closed fist, anyways) and I would kind of like to keep it that way.

I thought about backing out because I was afraid of what I might do when shitfaced, and he thought about backing out because he was afraid of what I might do, too.

But since then some fightin' words have gone down, and I am under the impression that the contest is still on.

So, in the event that you don't hear from me after tonight, know that it must be because I died, which likely means I won, and therefore at least had a smile on my lips at the time.

If I somehow manage to survive tonight, I have the HOLY GRAIL of holiday parties to look forward to this weekend: The Bar party.

It involves dinner made up of actual solids (I have no fucking idea why, but I am so not arguing with lobster), plenty of alcohol (of course), and people (the bar staff and friends) that are sick of having to stay at least somewhat sober while serving out-of-control drunken idiots and are determined to make up for that IN ONE NIGHT.

It should be good times.

What with the drinking contest and the bar party, who wants to bet I'll keep up a 3-year tradition of being on death's door step come Christmas?

Around here that's what we call a SURE THING.

Disclaimer of sorts: Lest this post (or, uh, all of my posts) leave you with the impression that I'm an alcoholic, let me remind you people that it is the HOLIDAYS. A time during which I have no school, and even a brief respite form work. My biggest responsibility this week is to remember to put on clothes when I get out of bed (at 3pm) and to not walk around the house naked.

So let a girl have some fun, ok?

That being said, remember: don't drink and drive, drunk text messages are even funnier the next day, Mandarin Stoli is the devil, and I love you all.

Cheers.