First things first:

Dear person who found my site by searching for "postage stamp ass tattoo",

I LOVE YOU.

Hugs & kisses,
Joey

With that super important business out of the way, I can now move on to gushing about how VERY VERY enamored I am with this recent spell of cold, rainy weather.

Whenever I do this I always get at least a few bitchy emails (love you, readers!) that generally sound like this:

"Shut up. 50 degrees is NOT cold. You want to feel cold? Try coming to where I live. There's six inches of snow on the ground, and I have to walk through it every day to get to work. And back! While barefoot."

And I have to give it you guys; you're right. It does not get THAT cold here in Southern California. (Hear that, ladies? There is no excuse for wearing Uggs. Absolutely none. Ever.) But thanks to the geographical joke that I live where I do, I'll take what I can get. And if I want to call a day when the temperature dips into the high fifties "winter" and the occasional sprinkling/light rain "a storm" THEN I WILL.

Whew.

(Can you tell that I've had soda today? And coffee? And cake? And maybe some candy, because OHDEARGODILOVESUGAR? Fucking holiday treats at work are going to be the death of me.)

Where was I? Oh yes. Loving this weather. So much so that I put together a cold weather play list the other night. It's full of the songs that I like to listen to during dark, wet, night drives, late evening walks to the park with the dog, and when falling asleep with the windows wide open and snuggled under ten pounds of covers.

Enjoy. (Or don't. I don't really give a fuck. Unless you're the "ass tattoo" person. In that case, baby, I really hope you like this.)

Behind the Bars - Elliott Smith
One of my favorite songs. Though I normally go for over the top instrumental arrangements or dramatic sounds, the sparse, very minimalist tone of this song highlights the lyrics, which are PORN FOR MY EARS. It's like one big ode to alcoholic, codependent love: "Drink up baby, stay up all night" (check and check), and later "Drink up with me now and forget all about the pressure of days/Do what I say and I'll make you okay".

Sigh.

Nice.

Up Jumped the Devil - Nick Cave
Drunken piano playing like I thought only Tom Waits could pull off. And I love the line "we got as drunk as a couple of czars". (This is also where the title of this post came from.)

Mount Wroclai - Beirut
I talk about these guys plenty. Which means, click there if you want to read about 'em, because I'm too lazy to type the same things here. (Somebody's blood sugar is crashing...)

Cat Faces - Ugly Casanova
Such a beautiful song, with two sets of lyrics sung over each other. It sounds a bit heartbreaking, particularly the line "you blame me and I'll blame you, and we're both right".

Reality. Such a bitch.

Ramblin' Man - Mark Lanegan & Isobel Campbell
When combined with a rainy night, this revamped version of the old Hank Williams classic makes me want to reach out and cuddle up with someone. (You try hearing a whispery, Scottish female voice say "Got naked daddy just for you" and see if that doesn't do it for you, too.)

Little' Red Riding Hood - The Meteors
There's a theme here: cover songs that turn me on. Originally done by Sam the Sham & the Pharohs, this song is downright sultry. (Another desperately hot sounding song: Dearhearts, by Murder City Devils. But I'm just going to assume that you've all done your homework and have already listened to it about 100 times.)

Blue Tears - The Black Heart Procession
I vividly recall buying the CD (remember those days?) this song is on without ever having heard this band before. (I knew their name, only, as one the band members also performs in Ugly Casanova. I considered that enough of a reason for me to check them out.)

I put this song on in my car while still parked in the store lot, and I knew a few seconds in that I had found one of those bands I would like for a long, long time. And that I would buy pretty much everything they put out. And I do, and I have.

Just as I'm typing this I remembered receiving a late night text message, last night, I think (I was asleep when it came in and barely woke up to see it, hence the not remembering) from my friend Josh, who told me that Black Heart Procession is playing down here soon.

I am so, so there.

At the last show of theirs that I went to, which Josh was at attendance for, I kissed a stranger on the lips while Blue Tears played, because I couldn't think of anything more romantic to do at that exact moment. (Yes, I was drunk.) Much, much later in the night (later enough that I had sobered up - I swear!) I almost committed vehicular manslaughter because people in LA don't know how to get the fuck out of the way.

I won't be surprised if Josh decided to let me know about the show, yet declines to actually go with me.

There are many, many other songs on the list, but that's all you get. I desperately need to go raid the back room and take care of that little blood sugar problem I mentioned.