Dear very nice man with whom I bet I have a lot in common,

We shared a brief, and yet completely hilarious and very touching moment at the Detroit Cobras show at Detroit sometime last week or so. I never got your name, and truth be told I don't even remember what you look like. I think you had brown hair? I'm like 90% sure you're a dude? I'm sorry, but my beer was almost empty and I was headed to the bar for another, so it goes without saying that my pace was somewhere around warp drive.

But back to that beer. It was prematurely empty because moments before I had tossed it over the head of some douchebag. I'd only gotten about two sips in before my dial went to HULK SMASH, so yes, I needed a replacement, ASAP.

This particular guy was being an above-average jackass to a large number of people on a relatively small dancefloor, and so you, as well as several other people, heartily approved of this beer pouring action. In fact, that night marked the first time I've ever been applauded for throwing alcohol (down anything other than my throat), and I'd be lying if I said I didn't warm my heart just a bit.

So on my way to the bar you (kind, sweet, generous person) stopped me and attempted to refill my nearly finished beer with yours! How kind. Only, uh, you were drinking Jack and Coke. Still, the sentiment was greatly appreciated, and I wanted to let you know that. Someone who would attempt to refill a girl's drink after she so painfully had to sacrifice it for the good of the majority? You sir, are my people.

And while I am definitely taken (mostly. No, I kid! Hi, Baby! See?! Totally taken! Honey, please don't beat me tonight.) you are clearly the kind-hearted, thoughtful, and generous type that I wouldn't think twice about setting up with one of my lady friends. Though they would probably chew you up and spit you out by oh, day three. Come on, I throw beer at people, what kind of females do you think I hang out with? (At the last Detroit Cobras show at the Galaxy, one of my ladies threw a beer bottle at someone and then spit IN THEIR FACE. Dude, I am totally the quiet one of the bunch, I AM NOT EVEN JOKING.)

Cheers,

Joey
The pale girl in the panther t-shirt

P.S. Of course I drank (some of) it. I had to know.

Cute! And funny!

Oh yeah, and totally heartbreaking, too!

China 5.12 Earthquake Strips by Coco Wang (via Jezebel)

You just awwwwwwwed, didn't you?

I KNEW IT.

It's nice to know that when you're going through a rough time, the people who love you will be there for you.

Except when they aren't.

Instead, they go out of their way to be hurtful. That very tough, very private thing you're going through? Just another thing for them to use against you.

Lovely.

This weekend has done precious little to convince me that being alone is not in fact an appropriate and helpful way of dealing with things.

So let me be, and I'll be fine.

Really.

Besides pandas and kittys?

PUPPIES!

(Really, there is no excuse for not having seen this one coming.)

The fucking CUTENESS, no? I'm so thankful that I have some little loves to curl up with:

Who, check it out, totally tag team in their snuggling efforts:

Yup. Just about all warm and fuzzy now. And making my foray back out among the public by getting shitfaced (not driving, hurrah!) at the Rainbow tonight should help quite nicely with that feeling, too.

Cheers.

Hi there! Why yes, it has been awhile. But, you see, I've just been so busy, what with all of the drinking (which, come to think of it, there hasn't been a whole lot of. Pick your jaw up!) the reading, the sleeping, and the crying.

Oh, that last one? Nothing to worry about. There's not a whole lot of it going on, except when there's so much that I can't breathe. This causes problems with the reading and the sleeping, so that's where the drinking, generally in the form of a glass of wine (knock-out juice, how I love thee) comes in.

But enough about that. I'm fine. Really! See this smile? It's huge! Just F-I-N-E, I say. Let's talk about you. How are YOU?

...

Oh. This doesn't really work that way. Well.

Fuck.

Uh, how about them Dodgers?

Oh yeah. Again: fuuuuuck.

I try not to get too personal or over-sharey on here, and so I have no idea how to write about what I'm going through right now. The first option: I could just not write anything at all. And while isolating oneself is something (like drinking!) that I consider an art form rather than something self-destructive, I genuinely enjoy posting here. It's something I'd gotten used to, and (to my surprise) I've missed.

It would also be quite nice to stop receiving angry "Where the fuck are you? You owe it to me to post. I visit!" emails. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

The second option is to just avoid the topic, and write about other things. But you see, there are no other things. There is just THIS thing, and it is big, and it is staring me in the face and it won't look away. The fucker Won't. Even. Blink.

Instead, I'm going with the third option. I toe the line, and write about feeling particularly bad (yeah...that's one way to put it) though I won't go into the specifics of why. And that's how it's going to be. Sometimes I find it cathartic to write about what I'm going through (even if in a very vague manner) and perhaps this is one of those times. We'll see.

I'm not trying to drum up curiousity (dear, sparkling readers, I have no doubt that your own lives are just full of personal intrigue and you're not over there wringing your hands about mine) and I'm not passive aggressively hoping for someone/anyone to ask me about this ordeal (in fact, please don't) so let's just agree that some days suck and sometimes you cry and sometimes the only firm decision you can make is that staying indoors and working on a bottle of Jameson is all you can be expected to do for the next week or two or five. The end.

...I mean, the end, unless someone can arrange for one of these:

Because I could really, really go for that right now.

(COULDN'T WE ALL?)

Hi! I'm still alive! Though not for lack of trying!

No, I kid, I've actually been doing a swell job of attempting to understand the word 'moderation' lately. I thought for sure that graduation celebrations would put me over the edge, but nope, I haven't really gotten too out of control (yet) or had any brushes with death (so far). Don't believe me? Eh, I don't blame you. But I've got proof! This pretty much sums up what I've been up to lately:

I mean, you really can't get any nerdier than a SpongeBob video game and a fruity (yet still totally alcoholic!) drink.

Oh, wait, YES YOU CAN!

Justice League Heroes, Wizard magazine, and his and hers pineapple drinks! Do we know how to party, or DO WE KNOW HOW TO PARTY?

Oh, and clothing? Optional! There was an insane heat wave last weekend; I would have taken off my skin if I could have. So you see? This photo makes perfect sense! Ignore the small, visible patch of sky which shows it's clearly after sundown. Ignore the sneaking suspition that perhaps we were just too lazy (or saw no need) to put clothes on for HOURS AND HOURS of video gaming. Nope. It was all about the heat, people.

Really.

In addition to drunken video gaming, the general lack of activity around here can be blamed on the usual suspects. Take your pick: I'd rather watch the Dodger game/go out for sushi/play with the nekkid man above/buy overpriced heels/see which of my friends I can drink more wine than (all of them, suckers!)/take a (3 hour) nap/go to dog beach/bathe/read/pretty much anything, really.

But since I love you guys almost as much as I love shoes and whiskey, I leave you with this, which in 5 seconds is infinitely more entertaining than anything I could ever come up with.

You're welcome.

Stupid things I said last night, completely sober edition:

"I thought I was going to throw up, but I didn't, so you can still kiss me!"

Because who wouldn't want to throw down and initiate a make out attack after a line like that?

Charming? Yes, yes I am.

What, you guys thought I'd actually update sometime this month? Um, dudes, since school is for all intents and purposes (meaning, mine) finis, summer is now officially in full force. And "updating my internet diary" is not on the top of my list of things to do for the next few glorious months.

These, however, are:

Vacations
Going to see my little panda, and a bunch of dead people's bones.

Lovely summer cocktails
Which I would normally be ashamed to drink, but if it's hot enough to warrant an umbrella for shade, it's hot enough to warrant an umbrella in my drink. And that above? There is no shame in a Long Beach Iced Tea, my friends. NONE.

Living in bikinis
Yeah, not really a huge departure from what I've been doing, weekly, for the past two months or so.

The return of alternative ways to get from here to there
It's been awhile since I've attempted to tame the two-wheeled beast (my last bike was stolen) but my interest has since been renewed due to the following factors: a good friend offered to help me build a bike all custom and shit, and oh yeah, he mentioned that we could PAINT IT GOLD.

I've also been frequenting some local (not downtown) bars a bit more lately, and though I live in a safe neighborhood, walking back home at night isn't really a bright idea. No, drunkenly wobbling around on a flashy bike - much better!

Dodger games
More of these too, please. Since I haven't yet been to one this season. No, I most certainly have not.

And...
hopefully many, many afternoons just like this one. (Whoa, I just noticed that post was written a year ago, today. I totally did not do this on purpose. Let's go ahead and call it FATE.)

Cheers!

He always turned around when I called 'Ling Ling.' This morning he didn't. I rushed to him and touched his head, and he was already cold. That broke my heart," Sugimoto said. "He was such a darling."

Thank you, Mr. Sugimoto for TRYING TO MAKE ME CRY.

He's a chief panda-keeper (wait, why the fuck did I just get an MLIS degree?!), commenting on Japan's oldest panda, who passed away one day after being removed from public exhibition due to aging and frail health. Way to hang in there for the people, Ling Ling.

So what to do to turn a frown upside down? Well, the answer should be obvious, people: buy shoes! Shoes that I already have in black, but these ones are all suede not suede and patent leather and therefore TOTALLY DIFFERENT:

And if that doesn't work (even though it totally did, a bit): buy a panda!

(Click on the image to go to non-profit organization Pandas International)

You can sponsor a panda for just $50, and adoptions begin at $500. With an adoption you get all kinds of cutesy updates and photos of your panda, and you also get to give it a nickname.

Um, people? LET'S DO THIS.

Sorry I haven't been around, dudes.

Turns out that cramming a semester's worth of work into a week kind of sucks the life out of you! And the amount of celebration needed to erase the memory of those painful, painful homework-filled days? Well, that sucks the ability to form coherent sentences out of you.

Anyways, allow me to make it up to you, dear readers:

For those of you who aren't into FUZZY WUZZY CUTENESS (freaks), this one's for you. TRUST ME.

He's fine! It's totally ok to laugh! And to watch it 10 more times!

(Ok, 20.)

With school, that is.

I'm also done with: staying in to do homework, being too tired to go out, visiting 5,095,473 libraries in one month, imagining what a joyous sound would result from throwing my laptop off a high-rise, and getting up at 9am on a Saturday for class (ok, I only did this last one a few times, but STILL).

Yup. DONE WITH ALL THAT BUSINESS.

...at least until September, at which point it looks as though I'll be starting Masters degree #2 (which deals with an even dorkier subject area than the first. What trumps latin manuscripts and 1950s horror comics? Wouldn't you like to know!).

What? Sanity was never something I claimed to posses, people. But the ability to celebrate? LET ME SHOW YOU IT.

Cheers!

I guess I may have mentioned my panda love on here once or twice? Because seriously ALL OF YOU sent this in. And that is why I love you.

I have work off tomorrow, which means that my weekend will probably look something like this: homework, drink, homework, homework, sleep, homework, drink, homework, homework, sleep, homework, homework, HOMEWORK, HOMEWORK!!!, turn in homework, do happy-done-with-grad-school dance, PAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRTYYYYYYY!

Cheers!

Congratulations, baby!

I could get all sweet right now, but I would much rather do it in front of the man himself over a celebratory glass of whiskey.

(So for everyone else reading this: YOU ARE SO, SO WELCOME that I'm electing to not do it here.)

Cheers!

Today in storytime we made these:

But with real feathers because my crafts are fancy and awesome like that.

I also taught all 60+ preschoolers how to cup their hand over their mouth and make ferocious battle cry sounds. I actually saw one mom swoop in, slow motion style, and attempt to distract her son while I was demonstrating. Hey, lady, the kid's going to learn sooner or later how to ANNOY THE FUCK OUTTA YOU.

I was just doing my part. You're welcome.

And yes, I did update twice in one day partly because I didn't want the previous entry to be at the top of the page, the first thing someone sees when they come to my site. I don't want to scare any of you off from visiting. Hell, visit five times a day. I'm not in the habit of analyzing my site stats, or checking IP addresses. So go ahead - spend hours on here. I DARE YOU.

I'm also loathe to contribute to internet dramatics. I felt this situation warranted comment, though, but nothing further.

The other reason why I updated twice in one day? Well, I told you that my powers of procrastination are quite stunning in their magnificence. And now that I will be DONE WITH GRAD SCHOOL in LESS THAN A WEEK, my powers of putting shit off is at full throttle.

Expect 5,489 or so posts come Friday.

This is not for all of you, so please don't get all paranoid. That's right. Put the tin foil down.

But one of you? One of you reading this is a creep.

I'd like to think that come here because you actually enjoy the site (hey, it could happen!) or because maybe you're faced with a long and tedious work day where any diversion is a good one (yeah...this is probably more likely).

But there's also the possibility that you're visiting just to glean informative bits and pieces of my life from here. And you're not one of my friends, so one can only wonder why the fuck you would want to do that.

I'm mindful that anything I post here (or on myspace, as you are well familiar with, creep) can be read by perfect strangers, interpreted and even used however they desire. (Uh, DUH.) I have no problem with that. What I do have a problem with is someone in my town acting in ways that make you go HMMMM.

So I hope that you're here because you just enjoy my site. Alcohol and baby animals; there's something for everyone! But if that's not why you're here, you may want to think about going here instead.

And you know, maybe getting a life, too.

This is precisely the kind of thing my mother was afraid of when I decided that formal and traditional graduation announcements are seriously butt ugly and that I would be making my own.

I was originally leaning towards a design that projected at least a modicum of propriety, but I absolutely cannot stop giggling at the thought of my little old grandmother breaking open the embossed seal on a starched white envelope and pulling out THIS.

And that mental image alone is reason enough to do it.

It's Saturday. And I'm at work. And I had to be here AT 9AM.

Normally, this would be perfectly acceptable grounds for crying, screaming, pouting, huffing and puffing, or (my favorite) throwing things.

But I have no cause for complaint. Absolutely none.

Today started out as best it possibly could have, which means that yes, there were cuddles. Which was was followed by a nice, leisurely bath (since I actually woke up early for once in my life...even if it took a car accident nearby to do the trick) where I got the chance to dive into a shamefully enjoyable graphic novel that I bought yesterday.

From there I cooked breakfast (!!!), headed off to work, and spent the morning hours sipping gourmet coffee (a gift from a patron) and selecting graphic novels for the library collection. My job. I kind of love it.

And then there was lunch:

Oh, sushi. Before this month, we had been apart far, far too long. What can I say? It's become increasingly rare that I have time to sit down to dinner anymore, and you're not exactly what I would consider take out food. But this month, you and I have been tight like BFFs, and I believe that I may love you even more than (dare I say it? I dare!) curly fries.

(And coworkers? That is apple juice in the picture. APPLE JUICE.)

Now I've got a few hours left of kicking back in a nice, air conditioned building, suggesting my favorite books for reading material because the books I read are the THE SHIT, teaching senior citizens that "burning a disc" has nothing to do with actually lighting it on fire so please put that out thanks, heading out to the craft store to buy storytime supplies, and pointing out where the tax forms are (hint: in the big cardboard stand that says TAX FORMS).

And I may have another cup of coffee, too.

Cheers!